What are we doing?
As I was boarding the plane on August 19, 2015, floods of thoughts swam through my mind during the next 24 hours as we flew across the world to our sons country, China. I read through his referral information over and over, trying to get to know him as much as I could before meeting him August 23rd. There were two things that stood out to me. The first was that he was in "low spirits" when he was found at abandonment, and the second was that he loves his nannys. I thought about his birth mom and how unbearably heart wrenching it must be to leave your child because you have no other choice. Then I was thinking about how he has become so attached to his nannys, that makes me believe he is starving for a mommy. Of course he is. I learned from my friend, who visited Donnie's orphanage last fall, that Donnie was not supposed to be open for international adoption..... When I heard that I wanted to reach up and grab Jesus' face and kiss it all over. I believe that God protected that from happening because he knew that Donnie was our son.
You see, healthy boys are "valuable" in China. Not the imperfect ones......
Donnie and I were two of maybe 5 American people on the plane. As I sat there and looked around at all of the people on the plane with us I couldn't help but think, "you were the lucky my ones". China has a two children policy. In China you are only allowed to have two children. Most women are forced to become steril. However, those that are not steril and who become pregnant with a third child must either abort it or pay a huge fine to give birth to the baby. Once the baby is born they are considered nonexistent to the government because they are out of the law. That child cannot attend school, have medical care or get a job. So most women who have a third child feel helpless and abort or abandon their babies. With abandonment, a lot of the time the parents feel their child has a better chance in life as the government will then (if the special need isn't too severe in their minds) give the child a little bit of medical care and attention from one nanny to 25 kids in a room. If orphans are not adopted by the time they are 14 they are moved out of the orphanage to fin for themselves and society does not see them as regular human beings because they are an orphan. The orphanages in China all have a bottom floor of children whom they believe to not be worthy of adoption because they are a discrace to their country and that no one will want them. So these children remain with special needs unattended to, lying in their cribs all day everyday, eating the bare minimum.
China is a beautiful country but they are run in such a way that tells them the only thing that matters is how we look on the outside. If you aren't perfect, most of the time, you are not wanted.
It hit me on the plane looking around as these beautiful people. Wondering if these women had babies they had abandoned or killed. Most of them had to! The number of abandoned and aborted babies in China is astronomical! The odds are, they prob do. Then I wondered how many of these people visited the thousands of orphanages in their country full of millions of motherless and fatherless children? Did they even care? Did they even know?! Then I thought, of course they don't go visit, that would be unbearably heart wrenching to see all of the children they have left behind and forgotten about. The problem is so large, so unbearable!
All of these people hustle and bustle. Carrying their precious healthy babies, eating their a amazing food, laughing with their family, ignoring and forgetting the millions of children living constantly behind closed doors, lying in their cribs all day waiting for their forever families...... I just can't take it. It's so hard to think about.
It was interesting because even our guide, who is helping us adopt their orphans, told me about their two child policy with chilling joy. It's just they way they do things. No one thinks about it any other way. It's their culture. It's all they have ever known.
So why are we doing this?
Why are we traveling all the way across the world and doing all these crazy hard things for someone "we dont even know", (i know him just like I knew Selah and Olivia in my womb) to call him our son, oouur own?
Well, first of all, God has completely changed our hearts from stone to hearts striving to think and act like his. We come at this with deep perspective of being adopted ourselves. Being chased after and found, ourselves! We were lost and orphaned alo before we knew Jesus. When it comes to WHO we are as people, deep within us, we are either one of two things. A slave to our own demise, our fallen nature (sin), or we are a Child of the living God.
You see, God went through all the necessary steps to call US His own. Those steps were much more sacrificial then ones we have made on this adoption journey. We had to sign a thousand pieces of paper and come up with THOUSANDS of dollars. We had to swet and work hard at 3 garage sales and work extra jobs, plan fancy fundraisers and fly across the world in order for Donnie to be our son.
BUT GOD!!!......
He left His THRONE ROOM in heaven to become a helpless BABY for starters. Then He was hated by many, so much that people demanded He take the punishment of a criminal. He was spit on, whipped, stripped naked, then held his hands and feet still so that He could literally be nailed to pieces of wood and then HUNG up high for the town to see. Then He died. When He died, He became seperated from the God He once sat enthroned with (you know, creating the world and ruling it)
Without the presence of God, there is no warmth, no cool air, no happiness, no breath. Nothing good. Every pleasure you experience is simply because God is present! Jesus took all of this on WILLINGLY because He knew the promise. That all of this torment was not His end. He knew the NECESSARY STEPS to make His people His children. And He did them with joy. He knew that we were orphans and slaves to sin. He knew that we could not save ourselves from this strong powerful hold. SO He came down to our level and He did the necessary steps so that our orphaned souls could become free from the bondage of sin that was separating us from Himself! He died, then DEFEATD SIN AND DEATH, so that.....we might be His children. He knew that there was no other rescue. He knew that it would be costly, but He loved us, and gladly died IN OUR PLACE so that He could call us His CHILDREN.
THIS is why we are doing this. This is why we have this desire, because we have been rescued from the GUILT and POWER of sin and can now freely see Gods heart for the fatherless AND Gods heart for all Nations.
Adoption is the most tangible picture of what Jesus has done for us. He promises to put orphans in families. We obeyed his leading and said YES!! Now we have had the opportunity to see God in ways we never would have if we would have said no!
"Never make decisions out of fear, but always out of obedience to the Lord" - Grace Fabien
(I almost shoved this desire to adopt under the rug because I was scared.... Until I heard that quote from Grace)
So why China? Besides the fact that China is just simply where we were lead, international adoption is a beautiful picture of Gods Kingdom! We see here in the bible that God commands believers to go into the world and make Jesus followers from every Nation!
"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit" Matthew 28:19
As parents, that is or primary job! To teach our children to love and follow Jesus, the one who went through all the necessary steps to ADOPT US as His children. So having a multicultural family is also a picture of Gods kingdom which is full of every tribe, tongue and Nation! It's ONE of the ways our family can reach the Nations with the truth of Jesus.
So, tomorrrow we will meet our son for the first time. I keep wondering if he knows what is coming. Children can sense things. I wonder if he is scarred. If he is afraid he will be abandonded again.
Tomorrow, he will be ripped away from everything he has ever known. His nannys, his friends, the cold floors and stiff beds, familiar rooms and rigged schedule. He will probably experience the saame fear he felt when he was abandonded. He will then drive on a bus for 8 HOURS (not even sure he has evver seeen a bus in his life) and be taken away, to an empty room where he will be handed to us and his nannys will walk away forever. As glorious as that is on our side, it is traumatizing on his side. My baby will probably grieve, and my heart will BREAK. But God is so good. We are praying that these fears and grieve would only be momentary and that the joy of having a Mommy and Daddy that love him deeply, would turn his saddness into great joy.
Today we will visit the great wall and the original city of Beijing. While it will be fun, all I can think about is my baby. Will you join us in praying for his little heart? That he would not be afraid? That he would be at peace ini our arms?
Thank you!! We are so grateful for you all.
ps. for those wondering, we werent even fully funded and we made it to Chine....just sayin. God is HUGE and deserves our Praise! Amen
